Transition to Independence
It’s nearly November. Over the past two months, your student has found his or her way around the labyrinthine halls of the Mosse Humanities Building, memorized the menus at the Library Mall food carts, and is even able to walk all the way up Bascom Hill without getting too winded.
Your student’s transition to UW-Madison is complete... right?
In some ways, yes. The vast majority of new students have been making friends, going to class, and acclimating to campus life at UW-Madison. As always, you should be very proud of their success in achieving this major milestone.
A first-year student reviews his academic course schedule with his parents during a July 2007 SOAR session.
At the same time, in contact with your son or daughter, you’re also likely to find that they are beginning to deal with a new set of issues–some old and some still emerging– as the fall semester winds on. Several campus experts familiar with student life say parents can and should play an encouraging and supportive role for their students in this “second transition” period.
“Ask questions and stay involved with your son or daughter,” says Wren Singer, director of Orientation and New Student Programs. “Try to encourage his or her success and put your student in touch with the help he or she needs without doing it all for them.”
Here is a round-up of common transition issues many new students are facing at this point in the semester:
Academics: By now, your student should have received their first grades on an exam or paper. Don’t be shocked if you learn that the results were somewhat below the standards that they set in high school. Without being judgmental, ask questions about what might have gone wrong, but put your energies into encouraging improvement.
“It’s perfectly normal for new students to experience a bad grade,” Singer says. “It’s a chance for them to learn better study habits, elevate their effort to a higher gear, and do better in the future.”
Advising and enrollment: As the spring semester approaches, it will soon be time for students to plan ahead for the next semester. Students should plan on meeting with their assigned academic advisor well before they need to register. Experts in the Cross-College Advising Service (CCAS) are available to help advise students as well. Advisors there have information about all programs and majors on the UW-Madison campus and can help students plan a program that will keep their options open.
It’s also easy and convenient. In addition to the main office in Ingraham Hall, CCAS operates five advising offices conveniently located in university residence halls where advisors are happy to meet with all students, whether they are officially assigned to CCAS or not, to help with advising and registration questions. (Residence hall advising offices are located in the Bradley Learning Community, Chadbourne Residential College, Ogg Hall, Sellery Hall, and Witte Hall.)
As always, it pays to plan ahead and not wait until the last minute to make advising appointments. “Registration for the spring semester occurs at a very hectic time in the fall–late November for most freshmen–a time when many first-year students feel a lot of pressure and anxiety,” says Timothy Walsh, director of Cross-College Advising Service. So it’s important for students to connect with their academic advisor for help, advice, and reassurance.”
Roommate conflict: In some floors across University Housing, the “honeymoon period” of roommate relations has ended. Students may be facing academic stress for the first time, causing interpersonal conflicts to bubble to the surface. For parents, it can be difficult and even painful to hear about these situations. However, except in extreme cases, the first impulse–trying to solve the problem by requesting a roommate change– is often the wrong one. Try to recognize that you may be hearing one side of the story and that your own student’s personality or behaviors may be playing a role in the conflict.
Encourage your student to work directly with House Fellows or professional Housing staff members to mediate the situation, says Carolyn Bell, assistant director of University Housing for Residence Life. Housing staff are experts in working out these conflicts, and the earlier they become involved, the better. In many cases roommates who experience difficulties early in a semester go on to forge long-lasting friendships.
“Ultimately, students will learn conflict-management skills that will serve them for the rest of their lives,” Bell says.
Homesickness: Many new students have settled in to life in Madison and are beginning to consider campus as their new home. However, it’s also perfectly normal for students to miss home. If a student is returning home every weekend, encourage them to hook up with a House activity, attend a Registered Student Organization meeting, or even spend a weekend exploring downtown Madison. Literally hundreds of activities, many of them free or low-cost, are taking place every week on and off campus. There is rarely “nothing to do.” “Students just need to make a connection,“ Bell says. “You can help remind them about the things that attracted them to UW-Madison in the first place.” Conversely, keep in mind that too many visits to Madison by friends or family can also be disruptive to studies and adjustment.
Communication and resources: By now, you’ve likely developed a communication pattern that is working for you and your student. Some students and parents talk every day, but Singer suggests that two times per week is a good way to catch up on news without becoming overinvolved. E-mail and text messaging are good ways to keep in contact, provided that your student is comfortable with the level of contact.
In your conversations, keep in mind that the university has easily accessible resources for nearly all of the common problems experienced by students. Again, try to encourage your student to take responsibility for making those connections. Even if a particular resource is located on a different part of campus, nearly all information is available on the university’s Web pages, by phone, or by e-mail.
When you need more help: Ultimately, you, as a parent are the expert on your student. If, in your conversations or e-mails, you notice that your student is showing signs of extreme or out-of-character behavior prolonged over a period of more than one week, ask questions and try to learn more about what specifically may be affecting them.
In many cases, the problem may be something simple, such as a bad grade, intense academic period, or a relationship issue. But, in some cases, it may be something more. You can also play an important role in detecting a mental health issue, eating disorder, substance abuse problem, or serious health problem.
Federal privacy laws prevent UW-Madison staff members from directly discussing issues related to a student with their parents. However, for advice on handling these situations, contact the Parent Program.
Lastly, try to remember that students are learning important life skills each day they spend on campus, even when it appears that they are struggling. “They’re starting to think for themselves, ask questions, and awaken,” Bell says. “That’s a pretty cool thing to witness.”